Top 10 Things to Drive you Neighbors Crazy
 | 10. Order pizza to their unit at 2am.
9. Take tap dancing lessons in your living room (Nice one Brian, considering all units are wall-to-wall carpeted...)
8. Park perpendicular across three parking spaces
7. Bark like a dog when ever someone walks by your front door.
6. Cut (and nicely arrange on your kitchen table)all the flowers from outside the front door
5. Change the locks on the entry doors (both of them)
4. "Borrow" their newspaper daily. Return them all on Sunday.
3. Play soccer (or any ball sport) in the hall
2. Monopolize the washer a dryer on all three floors.
1. Act like you don't see your neighbor walking with groceries and scurry in without holding the door for them. |
A day (or two) in the life of 20-something GHer
| Day 1. A Monday in April. *All events occur between 6am and 8am. Hit snooze, after the third smack, get out of bed. Look out window and see some odd white stuff. Think to self, "that rain really must of came down over night." Turn on TV, hear newscaster talking about school closings. Look out window again. Wake up. Decide the white stuff is snow. Realize I'm going to be late for work as PA drivers seem to have an issue with driving through 'white stuff.' (Note: Author originates from upstate NY). Decide it's time for coffee. Fast forward to realizing my umbrella is in the car, only after apparently wasting time doing my hair. Decide I'm important enough to not brush the snow off my car. Begin commute to work (saving the narration of my unsuccessful attempt at navigating through the potholes for another day). Wonder how far car can travel with the gas light on. Hope it's at least the 18 miles to work. Secretly wish it's only 10 and that there's a tree in the middle of the road so I can return to my fight with the snooze button. Which someday, I will win. Day 3ish. *Events between 6pm and 8pm-ish. Arrive home from work (again after an unsuccessful pothole navigation), stomach growling for a hearty pancake dinner. Realize I have no flour. Ponder knocking on neighbor's door. Realize I don't know neighbor. (Note: Author has been a GHer since Feb '07). Decide to get mail and further ponder pancakes. Open mailbox. Find reason for moving to GH, according to my dad anyway - mortgage bill! "It's an investment Ashleigh." Yea, so are the 8 pairs of jeans I can no longer buy thanks to GMAC. Still no flour. Stare down neighbor's door in hopes it miraculously opens and flour appears. No luck. Listen to stomach growl. Open fridge - ketchup, salad dressing, coffee creamer, slimy ham from Mom after Easter dinner. Open freezer - 82 TV dinners (which technically should be called TV lunches or maybe appetizers because the 2 bite chicken cannot possibly constitute a full meal, hence my daily lunch. ie. not pancakes), chocolate bunny (see origination of ham). Open cupboard - cereal. Open fridge - no milk. Look out peep hole to see if neighbor has surfaced with flour. Scroll through phone for Chinese number. Ask for delivery - "We don't deliver to Wayne." *#$@! oh right, since that was the Chinese place that delivered to me when I lived in Conshohocken. Listen to stomach growl. Get in car. Speed to Fox and the Hound, sans attempt at pothole navigation, order beer. Drink beer. Request food menu. If only flour-neighbor could see me now! Day 9 Rebelliously blew through the stop sign. Consequently then swerved to avoid the goose out for his mid-day stroll at 7am, resulting in a full speed plunge over the first (and larger) of two speed mountains. Created a new fashion trend - coffee splattered clothes. Stayed tuned for how this day turns out... |
Things I've learned since moving to GH
| 1. There is a fabulous nail salon in the Gateway Shopping Center 2. There is an even more fabulous saloon that sells take-out beer next door to the salon (...Outback). 3. There is no other beer selling establishment within walking distance of GH. 4. There is nothing that a flock of geese and their litter of 20 geeselings will move for, including automobiles and/or loud noises/horns. 5. The closest Wawa resembles a disaster area at 10am on a Sunday. 6. The King of Prussia mall is dangerously close. 7. The GH BBQ pit is a great place to get a free dinner when the neighbors are not closely monitoring their burgers, I mean, great place to meet your neighbors. 8. A flickering light overhead adds a whole new twist to doing laundry. (2nd floor Washington building, eh hem, Management). 9. A Saturday on my porch rivals a Saturday down the shore any day (well at least until 2pm when the sun goes to the other side of the building, at which point cannon balls in the pool beat out surfing the ocean waves). 10. My unit does not, no matter how hard I try to make it happen, clean itself. |